


Unbelievable

by TheEchoingSoul



Category: Bleach
Genre: Car Accidents, Car Chases, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, Insults, Kidnapping, Many many buttons, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Random parachutes, Speeding, Suits, Violence, Yelling, megaphones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-18
Updated: 2011-09-18
Packaged: 2018-01-17 20:02:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1400692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEchoingSoul/pseuds/TheEchoingSoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madness breaks out as Yumichika and Ikkaku are trying to lose Charlotte in a speed chase, but just what were they after? Wait, why does Yumichika have Prada?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unbelievable

There was a loud explosion and a screech of tires as a mass of cars flew down the lamp lit streets. At the front, getting farther from the others was a beautiful black car made by one of the two inside it. It weaved along the road at an unsafe rate, dodging other cars and trying to rid themselves of their pursuers. The stoplight ahead was turning red and two trucks were readying to cross the 4-way intersection.

"We're not going to fucking make it! Drive faster!" One of the occupants demanded from the passenger seat, red mask clad face turning towards his partner in crime.

"Shut up Ikkaku! I can't focus with you yelling at me in such an ugly manner!" Yumichika shouted as he floored the car, swerving around the oncoming trucks, just barely making it through.

"Those ugly humans damaged my beautiful car!" Yumichika screamed as he went to push the button for the back torpedoes he'd installed (with Ikkaku's help of course, he couldn't dirty his hands to much now could he?). Thankfully, his bald friend was able to coax him out of it.

"Save it for Charlotte, he made you do it." It worked like a charm; Yumichika's finger moved away from the button and went back to the dark azure colored steering wheel.

The whole car had been designed mostly by Yumichika (Using gloves so as not to soil his hands) and Ikkaku had only been allowed to install a few things into it, such as swords on the side door that were activated by one of the plentiful buttons he wasn't allowed to touch.

Seriously, you blow up _one_ , just one, of the duplicate cars and now you're considered a threat to the car! Yumichika doesn't even let him drive! Though he does let him jump out the window and fight, as long as he doesn't kill himself since Yumichika wouldn't be too happy if he had to use the mechanical arm installed in the trunk to get him. 'Blood stains terribly,' Yumichika had stated multiple times.

"I think we-OH for Captain Zaraki's sake! They're back!" Ikkaku stated, having turned to watch the back window for the pursuers. The bright pink, (almost) stylish car had suddenly appeared, having taken a back alley and using another car for leverage as two other various shades of pink cars swerved through the traffic, finally catching up.

Yumichika gave a pissed look as two of the cars surrounded his on either side. Without taking his eyes of the road he said, "Ikkaku, kill the right. I'll take the left." His nimble fingers gracefully and with malice pushed a blue-green button, successfully making Ikkaku's door transparent. The man smirked with glee as he gripped his naginata-like weapon and jumped onto the car, striking the gunman down in one swing before ripping a hole in the roof of the car. He held on as the car pulled to the side, swerving as he tried to lose the bald man.

Ikkaku smirked as he held onto the hole his naginata made before plunging it down, feeling the way his blade sliced through tissue and skin. Looking up he noticed the car approaching a truck that was sitting off to the side. Nobody was in it.

While that was going of Yumichika stared at the gunshot aimed at him, embedded into the window, leaving cracks surrounding the silver bullet. Now he was beyond pissed. With an evil gleam in his violet eyes and a revengeful look he pressed three buttons and rammed into the car next to him, laughing like a madman when he pulled away and viewed the door less car as he rolled down his window before pulling out his sword and rammed into the car again. Using the arm closest to the window he lifted his three-bladed sword and brutally stabbed the window, killing one of the passengers.

There was a shout of his name and he glanced over to see Ikkaku waving at him, the car he was on heading for its death. With an angry sigh he pulled away and moved close enough for Ikkaku to jump on. With one final glance Yumichika let loose a beautiful azure-green tentacle, he'd play it off as a part of the car if asked. The car was grabbed and thrown off the side, rolling and erupting into flames.

Yumichika let out a laugh as Ikkaku shook his head, not saying anything. He'd seen the dent in the window. Hurting that man's car was just asking for a gruesome death. Seriously, when Ikkaku had blown up the first one the man had almost strangled him but since Ikkaku was a professional fighter he was able to get away without too many injuries, but they still had stung like hell.

There was a microphone blaring at them from Charlotte's car. The annoying voice yelling through it was enough to make their ears hurt. Just who the hell gave that annoying, loud-mouthed man a microphone? Were they trying to kill everyone's ears and poison the mind of children who, unfortunately, happened to be in the cars that were moving away from the battle?

"Just give up you unbeautiful creatures and I may spare you!" He continued on and on, huge lips much too close to the microphone than needed. The car quickly pulled in front of them and they could clearly see the tall man of the roof.

The occupants fired another round of torpedoes but the car managed to swerve out of the way. There were sounds of rapid gunshots as they fired at one another. Yumichika's car was now missing a door in the back, all the windows, and three guns. Ikkaku 'tched' in annoyance but was almost satisfied with the damage done to the other car.

Doors were half melted off or gone entirely, there were prominent bullet holes and Yumichika had even managed to splatter the once pink car with some gross shade of green and yellow that did not look remotely good together. Exactly what the man next to him had probably planned based on the evil smirk on his face as Charlotte cried, not literally but it was pretty dark so they'd never be sure, over his car.

"My beautiful, gorgeous-"He was cut off by Yumichika yelling, "Your ugly Pepto-Bismol car was never gorgeous!"

"Pepto-Bismol?" The other ground out, "I'll have you know it's BUBBLE-GUM! My tires are a gorgeous white unlike your disgusting blue ones!"

Ikkaku nearly face-palmed as the bickering continued.

"Say that again you hideous she-man!" Yumichika fired back and wasn't too surprised when Charlotte ditched his car and jumped on theirs. Hands reaching to slap them as Yumichika veered to the left. He and Ikkaku shared a look before Yumichika turned back to Charlotte and gave a charming but scary smile as he waved good-bye, his other hand pulling a lever after pressing a ruby button.

The two were ejected from the car and high-into the sky before activating their parachutes. They watched Charlotte and the car plummet towards the highway below, watching the car blow up, and winced as some truck driver smashed into the pile, but the driver had jumped out before impact so it was alright.

"You have it?" Yumichika asked as they angled towards a roof top with a glowing R on it. Ikkaku held up a large 'bag' (purse) that's straps were wrapped tightly and securely around him arm and hands. "I got it."

They landed on the R and shrugged out of their gear before ditching their black suits, having worn casual clothing underneath. Yumichika adjusted his purple shirt and white jeans as Ikkaku straightened his muscle shirt and black jeans.

"At least we didn't need to buy a box." Yumichika boasted, "I bought the Prada bag beforehand."

Ikkaku rolled his eyes as Yumichika did his hair flip and finished scribbling on an envelope before handing it to him to sign also. Once done they walked through the door and took the elevator down to the fourth floor. Once the door opened they walked into the large group of gathered people and finally found the person they were looking for, opening wrapped presents as people watched.

"Happy birthday dear Rangiku," Yumichika called out as they stepped forwards and handed the busty woman the Prada purse. Her blue eyes widened in absolute glee as she reached for the purse.

"Thank-you it's gor-"The lieutenant was cut off by a movement in the bag. Her captain, Toshiro, looked suspiciously at the purse as Rangiku opened the zipper.

A loud squeal was heard, turning many heads, as the woman pulled out an adorable, fluffy white kitten. Rangiku jumped up with the kitten and 'hugged' the two men before pulling away with a large smile on her face. "How on earth did you manage to get him? I thought that strange man had already bought him!"

The two men shared a glance before smiling, "We have our ways."

 


End file.
